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記憶像鐵軌一樣長，飄散著三十五年的好滋味
▲男個案因「可怕經驗」嚇到一做愛就軟。（圖／ETtoday新聞雲示意圖）
文／性心理博士曾寶瑩
「我們結婚3年多，還沒生孩子，最近快被婆婆逼瘋了，我真的撐不下去了。」開口說話的是芊芊（化名），銘仁（化名）的老婆。
我心想，大概又是個對性交感到恐懼的太太吧。「嗯，婆婆急，難免啦！第一年讓你們享受新婚，第二年玩夠了，該給她生個孫子啦，又不好意思催，只能眼巴巴等著。到第三年沒翻臉，算很客氣囉。」
「可是我壓力很大啊！都是我在扛，婆婆一天到晚燉補湯，喝到我想吐就算了，還弄一堆符貼在床頭，整天對著我唸，嫁過來就要有媳婦樣，最近還把我的內衣全換成性感內衣，要我用心勾引她兒子。晚上進房，她跟著進來拿香水往我身上噴，半夜還掀開我們棉被看，這樣下去誰受的了阿！」芊芊越說越激動，幾顆豆大淚珠忍不住成串滴落。
銘仁在一旁心疼的摟緊太太，一邊說著對不起。唉～又是一對受性愛折磨的小夫妻，我趕緊安慰他們「別擔心，陰道痙攣可以處理，在這裡苦著臉進來、笑咧嘴出去的夫妻很多，你們努力一下就可以做愛的。」
聽我這麼一說，芊芊因哭泣而抽蓄的肩頭停止了抖動，兩人一起望著我說：「阿？我的陰道沒有問題啊！是我老公硬不起來，結婚以後，硬的次數不到十次。我很冤枉啊，真的很想跟婆婆說，是他兒子不行，不是我！可我就是說不出口。一來是我可以想像，婆婆一定會說他兒子陽痿，是因為我沒魅力，不能怪他，這樣我壓力更大。再說，我老公也很努力了，每次看他搓到滿頭汗，好不容易有點硬，只要一放進去就軟掉，我也很心疼，我實在捨不得讓他去跟他媽解釋。我想再試試，婆婆那邊我先擋著吧。」芊芊堅毅的表情，看起來好像日劇裡的阿信，男人夢寐以求的好太太，無論有多苦就是不讓老公扛。
「以前都可以的，結婚以後才變這樣......我想關鍵就是我媽。」沉默的銘仁終於開口了，沮喪又緊張，死命搓著自己雙手。
▼床上不性福的原因，竟是急抱孫子的婆婆。（圖／達志／示意圖）
「我是獨子，爸爸走得早，媽媽一個人把我帶大。我一直到高中，媽媽都還跟我睡在一起，我雖然不喜歡，但覺得她很可憐，也就算了，我想等我大學搬出去，也就沒事了。沒想到，填志願時媽媽哭著拜託我唸家裡附近的大學，我心軟只好又繼續住家裡，雖然不再跟媽媽睡了，但媽媽還是每晚來房裡看我，蓋被子什麼的。只要我跟她鬧她就會哭，後來我也算了，就由著她去了。之後我交了幾個女朋友，只要在外面過夜，她就會一直打電話，問我人在哪什麼時候回家，很煩，但我又怕她擔心，所以很少在外面過夜，幾個女朋友都是因為受不了我媽才跑了。
我和芊芊是同事，交往的時候常騙媽媽說公司出差，晚上先打個電話跟她說晚安就沒事了，所以和芊芊特別開心，也很常做愛。後來結婚了，芊芊住到家裡來，媽媽還是天天進我們房間，幫我們收拾東西，不管我們怎麼說，她就是堅持要進來，鎖門也沒用，她有鑰匙可以開。剛開始我們都不敢親熱，就怕被媽媽看到。
婚後一個禮拜，我實在忍不住了，跟芊芊說這麼晚媽媽一定睡了，就想做愛，那次很刺激，好像回到年輕時偷玩的感覺，我很興奮地插入，兩個人都很投入，後來我躺著讓芊芊坐上來，我才剛把陰莖放進去沒多久，張眼想看看她，就看到我媽站在芊芊背後，我一嚇就軟了，我媽只說了句『別感冒』，就出去了。芊芊跳起來鎖門，我癱在床上動不了，嚇得太厲害了。從那以後，我只要一有性慾，就會想到媽媽的臉。」
在一旁的芊芊，擦乾滿臉淚痕，拍拍老公肩膀後抬頭問我：「老師，怎麼辦？我們試過很多方式了，讓老公不要看見我的臉阿、去旅行，看A片，就是沒辦法把婆婆的臉擦掉。像我們這樣，還有救嗎？」我看著芊芊哭紅的雙眼，和銘仁緊皺的眉頭，真心為這對孝順的小夫妻感到心疼。從心理層面來看，芊芊擦不去的，不是婆婆的臉，而是銘仁被媽媽牢牢鎖住的性交恐懼。
▼有次和老婆正恩愛時，媽媽竟站在老婆背後，嚇得他當下「全軟了」。（圖／達志／示意圖）
那次的經驗，讓銘仁把性慾與恐懼做了不理性的連結，一般人多少會有這種連結的經驗，比方說，被媽媽看到自己正在看A片，之後只要看A片就會想到媽媽；或者，只要聞到過去情人身上擦的香水或古龍水，就會想起那個人，這都是經驗的連結。通常這種連結也很容易打破，多看幾次不同的A片、讓不同的人身上噴這些香味，就可以沖淡舊的經驗。但銘仁的問題卻沒有這麼簡單，因為那一晚，他和芊芊做愛，翻雲覆雨、十分亢奮，這種強烈的情緒下連結的經驗，很難用新經驗加以取代，如果那一夜婆婆沒有闖進來，銘仁張眼看見的是芊芊，就會深深的烙印在他的心裡，成了他一輩子性慾來時的美好畫面，但悲慘的是，這個畫面卻被他媽媽的臉給取代了，而且還伴隨著強烈的驚嚇與恐懼，成了壟罩在銘仁陰莖上一朵厚重烏雲，壓得他垂頭喪氣，喘不過氣。
「還有救的。銘仁得先學會放空，把腦子放掉，不要急著勃起，也不急著忘記過去的恐怖經驗。把注意力放在自己的呼吸和感覺上，不要想著要做愛，也不要想著要把媽媽忘掉。你們得建立新的經驗，勃起的時候不是要做愛，讓勃起只是勃起，用新的模式來享受性愛快樂。當然！你們也得跟媽媽好好聊聊，讓她別再催著芊芊生孩子，也別再闖進你們房間了。」兩夫妻瞪大眼頻點頭，認真聽話，像小朋友突然找到人帶他回家一樣，四隻眼睛淚光閃閃的，看得我心疼又想笑。
「芊芊阿，我再雞婆說一句，婆婆催妳，妳為了保護老公都不說，這麼做是沒有幫助的。因為銘仁很愛妳，妳為他擋壓力，他也想早點替妳出頭，不想讓妳再受委屈。但這樣的心情會讓他更焦慮，更沒辦法好好勃起。所以阿，還是鼓起勇氣好好跟婆婆說吧，讓她別再催妳了。」
對著芊芊說話的同時，我更想對一群像銘仁媽媽這樣，有著戀子情節的母親們大叫：兒子大了就要放手啊！別老黏著，把兒子都黏成了陽痿男了，怎麼抱孫啊！
本文經授權轉自：良醫健康網「性福，行不行？」專欄
★圖片為版權照片，由達志影像供《ETtoday新聞雲》專用，任何網站、報刊、電視台未經達志影像許可，不得部分或全部轉載！
性生活遇到困難都只敢問Google？別再害羞了！《ETtoday健康雲》開闢新專欄「性事難提」，歡迎來信提出你的性難題，我們將請泌尿科醫師、性健康管理師精闢分析，搶救你的性福！
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◎鎖定每周星期三、日的刊文，看看專家怎麼解開難題！
2018-02-08 03:00
REORGANIZATION: The Central Weather Bureau changed its evaluation of a string of quakes, determining that a quake on Sunday was a foreshock to Tuesday’s temblorBy Shelley Shan / Staff reporterSeven people were killed and 260 injured after a magnitude 6.0 earthquake struck off the coast of Hualien County on Tuesday night, the Central Emergency Operation Center said yesterday.The center’s data showed that four buildings in Hualien City had collapsed or tilted due to the earthquake: the Marshal Hotel （統帥飯店）, the Yun Men Tsui Ti （雲門翠堤大樓） commercial and residential building and two apartment buildings on Guosheng 6th Street.As of 9:30pm yesterday, 67 people were reported missing, 39 of whom were thought to have been in the Yun Men Tsui Ti building.However, rescue efforts at the Yun Men Tsui Ti building have been precarious, with the building tilting ever more toward the ground amid multiple aftershocks.A total of 31,558 households were waiting for their water supply to resume, while 186 households were left without electricity, the data showed.About 560 people have been placed in shelters after being evacuated from their homes on Tuesday night, the data showed.Huang Jui-tien （黃瑞添）, a resident of Hualien County’s Jian Township （吉安）, told the Taipei Times in a telephone interview that even though there have been aftershocks since a magnitude 5.8 earthquake on Sunday night, he felt that Tuesday’s earthquake was much bigger, because things started to shake vertically instead of horizontally.Huang said he and his family rushed out of their home during the earthquake and returned to find that all of the bonsai plants in the house had fallen to the ground.“We were afraid to go back to sleep again, because the aftershocks continued almost nonstop,” he said.Most restaurants and shops in the area were closed yesterday, Huang said, adding that convenience stores had run out of hot food.Asked what his family would do, as the aftershocks are expected to continue over the next few weeks, he said: “Well, life has to go on.”The Ministry of National Defense has deployed 661 military personnel to assist rescue efforts.Central Weather Bureau （CWB） data showed that Tuesday’s earthquake, which measured magnitude 6.0 on the Richter scale, occurred at 11:50pm at a depth of 10km and its epicenter was 18.3km northeast of Hualien County Hall, which is near the coast.The earthquake’s seismic intensity was level 7 in Hualien County’s Taroko Gorge （太魯閣峽谷） and Yilan County’s Nanao Township （南澳）.Seismic intensity refers to the degree of vibration felt at a location during an earthquake.On the nation’s zero-to-seven seismic intensity scale, level 7 indicates shaking so violent that people cannot move at will.As of 5pm yesterday, the bureau had recored 159 aftershocks since Tuesday night’s big quake.The bureau had previously said that Sunday’s magnitude 5.8 earthquake was the main earthquake and that it expected tectonic movement to gradually cease after multiple aftershocks.However, it changed its evaluation yesterday, saying that Tuesday’s magnitude 6.0 temblor was the main earthquake and Sunday’s was one of its 94 foreshocks.“This seismic sequence has completely changed the way we think about earthquakes in this region,” Seismological Center Acting Director Chen Kuo-chang （陳國昌） said.Chen confirmed that Tuesday’s earthquake was the largest in Hualien County since the bureau began conducting more precise observations of earthquakes in 1972.The bureau said that the earthquake occurred as a result of an interaction between the Philippine Sea Plate and Eurasia Plate, with some seismologists saying that this might trigger movement of the Milun Fault, along which the damaged buildings were constructed.In related news, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs said that 31 foreign nationals were reportedly affected by Tuesday’s earthquake, including 14 South Koreans, nine Japanese, two Czechs, two Singaporeans and one Philippine national.The nationalities of the remaining three have yet to be confirmed, the ministry said in a statement.The two Singaporeans and 13 South Koreans were in a temporary shelter at a stadium in Hualien, with only one of them, a South Korean, having sustained minor injuries, it said.The other 16 foreign nationals received treatment for various injuries at four hospitals in the Hualien area and were later discharged or would soon be discharged, the statement said.The injuries ranged from wrist and foot injuries to dry powder inhalation, it added.One South Korean woman living in the Yun Men Tsui Ti building was rescued at about 10am yesterday, the statement said.Additional reporting by CNA新聞來源：TAIPEI TIMES
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